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Overthinking It: Late Night Thoughts About The Toronto Raptors

Photo credit: GQ

One of the reasons why I regret never playing in the NBA (I decided against it due to a lack of skill) is that these guys seem to get away with wearing whatever they want.

And the Toronto Raptors are no exception. Last night, as I scrolled through their Twitter feed looking for some inspiration, I decided to introduce a new segment to Overthinking It

Could I Rock This?

Basically, we’ll look at some of the outfits various Raptors have worn this season and I will determine whether or not I – a 25-year-old writer – could pull off this players look.

Absolutely not.

I don’t think I could have a high enough net-worth to pull off the pants that DeAndre’ Bembry is wearing in this photo.

I still have a cord on my headphones that gets caught on every table corner I walk by, so imagine how many things I would snag on wearing pants with all of those loops.

I appreciate the colour coordination and the shirt is cool, I think if I could have that with regular human pants, but overall I could not rock this.

Okay so here is a three for one, and I’ll start off by saying I could easily rock the hell out of all three of these.

Patrick McCaw: So this may be a little bit out of my comfort zone but if it came down to it I could pull this off. The shirt is basic enough and I have no problem with short shorts, others might have a problem seeing my paper white legs but that’s not my issue.

Aron Baynes: The only problem I would have wearing this would be the little flap at the back of his shirt there. I would feel like a butler, but this look wouldn’t turn heads. Also Baynes, buddy, you’ve been in Tampa for months, get a tan.

Malachi Flynn: I could definitely rock this, but would I want to? Flynn looks like that kid in elementary school who only shows up for recess.

I don’t think I would have to be a millionaire to look good in these, I have like 60 dollars and these outfits would at least make me look like I could afford rent in a four bedroom apartment. Except for Malachi’s outfit, he didn’t try at all with that one.

The only people who can pull off bucket hats are fishermen and rich people and I will stand by that.

Could I rock this outfit? I definitely could, a white tee and jeans is as simple as it gets, but as soon as I put on that bucket hat it is game over.

For starters, my head has a terrible shape and no hat compliments it well.

But beyond that, until I can afford a leather Gucci bucket hat, I will just look like the guy who is wearing a bucket hat to seem “random and whacky.” Unless I’m fishing lobster, you won’t find one of those on my head.

Do I wish I had the money and confidence to wear the same clothes as DeAndre’ Bembry?

Yes.

Am I salty I can’t wear a bucket hat without being made fun of?

Of course.

This has been Could I Rock This? with Hugh McLarty.

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