Overthinking It: Late Night Thoughts About the Toronto Raptors

Have you ever jumped into bed, ready for a healthy eight hours of sleep and the sandman just never comes? Your sheep count has hit 1000, but your brain won’t let you sleep due to all of those lingering thoughts swimming around upstairs?

Both of those questions are rhetorical, as I am very confident that everyone suffers from some sort of anxiety induced insomnia every now and again.

And that is exactly what happened to me last night.

Fortunately for me, I have this wonderful outlet here at The Raptors Insider where my editors have given me maybe a little bit too much creative freedom (editor’s note: oh no, what have I done). So, before they put some handcuffs on me, I decided to put together “Overthinking It” a bi-weekly series of blog posts dedicated to all of those Raptors related thoughts that keep me up way too late.

Kyle Lowry Deserves a Statue

No one has done more for the Toronto Raptors than Kyle Lowry has, and pretty much all of Raptors Twitter will agree.

The idea of Lowry getting a statue in itself isn’t what keeps me up at night. In fact, it probably helps me sleep thinking that one day I get to see Kyle Lowry drawing a charge in statue form in the middle of Jurassic Park.

Thinking about the execution of said statue was what kept me up last night.

Let’s not beat around the bush here, Kyle Lowry may be packing the most junk out of any trunks in the NBA. It stresses me out to think that the individual put in charge of making his statue won’t accurately represent the Greatest Raptor of All Time’s most prominent feature.

At this point I have fully convinced myself that if Lowry’s statue doesn’t feature a larger than life rear end, we will have another Cristiano Ronaldo debacle on our hands.

On the other hand…

How big is too big? I don’t want to scare any potential sculptors for this job, but there is a fine line between “thicc” and offensive.

And then you gotta think – if the sculptor spends too much time on his butt – that may take away from the quality of work and the attention to detail on the rest of the 2019 NBA Champ’s likeness.

I don’t think there is any winning in this situation, so Raptors fans I beg you this question…

When Kyle Lowry gets his statue, would you prefer a life-size representation of his behind, or a statue that, sure, looks like Kyle Lowry but has a pancake bum?

I would love both, but in today’s economy I’m not sure if MLSE can afford that much bronze.

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