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The Greatest Kyle of All-Time

Image via Getty/Rick Madonik/Toronto Star

*POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING FOR ANYONE NAMED “KYLE”*

The name Kyle… doesn’t have that much “pizazz” to it, to put it lightly.

When I think of that name, I think of a little kid playing ding dong ditch with his friends, a teenage boy sitting in the office because he was acting out in class or the grade nine who found his place in high school at the smokers pit.

I don’t really associate “Kyle” with NBA All-Star or Champion or with anything cool to tell you the truth… and I felt like that was a little disrespectful to our lord and saviour Kyle Lowry.

So, in an effort to change the stigma I have regarding the name, I searched for some of the top “Kyles” in the world (I tried to do just sports but… it was a short list) and see where our very own big-butted point guard matches up.

The Famous Kyles (that I could find)

Kyle Chandler – If he wasn’t in Friday Night Lights, I would have been inclined to not even include him on this list. He was in Argo, which I loved so bonus points to him for that, but Kyle Chandler is one of those actors who I recognize but I am never able to remember his name.

He did pull of a fantastic inspirational speech though

Is he a successful Kyle? Objectively yes, but the Greatest Kyle of All-Time? Not a chance

Kyle Busch – This one is up there. Not only is his name fun to say with a southern accent, Kyle Busch is a good NASCAR driver too. Busch may have had some traction in this race to see what Kyle is best, but this interview knocked him down a few pegs for me.

Kyle Massey – If I were to have written this 13 years ago, Cory In The House would have vaulted Kyle Massey up to the top of the power rankings faster than I could say “dang!” (Cory said that a lot) but this is a “what have you done for me lately” type of business, and I have no clue what Massey has been up too since he moved out of the White House.

*For nostalgic purposes*

Kyle Mooney – When you are born with the name Kyle, you are given a sheet with potential career paths suited for your name, like accountant, bank teller or human resources manager. Mooney chose the path with the worst odds, but through hard work, dedication and luck he broke all sorts of barriers and landed a role on the cast of SNL.

Kyle’s aren’t meant to be funny, so full props to Mooney.

Kyle Korver – Biologically, at 6’7″, Korver is already in the top percentile of Kyle’s. On the surface, this is a win for the name but I feel like being really good at only one thing — like Korver is with three-point shooting — is as “Kyle” of a move as it gets.

In Conclusion

It was very hard to find even five people with the same first name who could stand next to Kyle Lowry.

Lowry has shown us Raptor fans that not only is he the Greatest Raptor of All-Time, but the Greatest Kyle as well.

No other Kyle has an NBA Championship, six All-Star appearances, a gold medal and a booty that just doesn’t quit.

Lowry has overcome every obstacle being named Kyle has thrown his way and has overachieved time and time again and for that, I thank him.

Here is K-Low accepting the Larry O’Brien Trophy (59 seconds in)

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